A STORY ABOUT HOW DESIGNERS CARE FOR THEIR OWN LIVES. BUT DO THEY CARE ABOUT MY LIFE? I DOUBT THEY DO.
When I look at the corners of my open dishwasher door after running into it i doubt it. The inside of the door sealing is rounded to ensure it tightens the sealing when it is closed. The outside has sharpened corners and in addition on the covering plate and those corners are so edgy they guarantee you severe leg pain and sometimes even blood stains on your clothing.
My laptop is on my desk with rounded corners. I never walk on my desk. Can you see the difference. If my mobile phone had edged corners it will not fall that easily out of my pocket, but harder to get it into. Where do people use their phones? In the pockets, or outside?
But the doors on my dishwasher in rounded on the inside where it is hard to touch it. I never put my legs inside of it.
On the outside my dishwasher is almost piggy.
Why? Don’t they want me to use it?
I understand designers use computers when they design stuff. Are all designers so wealthy they can afford a maid? So wealthy they never walk into the kitchen, even when the maid scream after hitting the corners on the dishwasher.
And you designed your new mobile to slide easily into your pocket. And if you slip it onto the floor you have ensured it won’t hurt your toes if you run into it? Right? The same when you dance on your desk after winning the design award, to ensure your laptop won’t make marks on your dancing shoes?
Why don’t you think about me? I live alone. I have a laptop. I use my slippery phone with my hands. I need to do everything that’s needed to do in a household. And that is a lot.
And I know you don’t even drive your own car.
You sit in the backseat.
The front door is edgy. It makes hell of a pain when the wind blows it into your ribs. And be aware if you ever consider to try driving… Broken ribs hurt more an more the first three days until it peaks. And then you will not even think about getting your ass into the backseat the next three weeks.
And since we were talking about dishwashers, or at least I did. Why did you put it on the floor? Is it because your maid is a small woman? She don’t need to bend when she is emptying it? I am quite tall.
I need to bend down there to do that dirty work every day, and then again when washing is done.
Do you design pills too? Round pills designed to slide quickly into your stomach when the dishwasher you designed has broken both my legs and back and I need some pain relief..
Funny! You don’t need them. You are never in the kitchen, not even when your maid is screaming. You design them, advertise them, and make us addicted.
The mothers little helper, though it’s not only them.
But I am sure you hum that song on every pay day.
So the conclusion is: I want my dishwasher up from the floor, so I can handle it without braking both my legs and back. Then I can start building up some belly fat for two reasons. First… I get less exercise. Second… I need the belly fat to protect myself against the corners on the dishwasher from hurting me.
And I almost forget to tell you about another reason to lift it up from the floor. If it start flooding one day I can get a bucket below to hinder the water from damaging the wooden floor, unless you have designed a flat bucket for the purpose.
I love baking. I know very well you don’t bake.
How could I know. Because you are never in the kitchen. Next to my dishwasher is my stove. On the floor. I will say no more, just a little reminder. You can open the door and see it for yourself. The corners inside is rounded to ensure you to take the turkey out of the box if your maid gets to busy on thanksgiving.
Is this practical detail what we call functional design?
I know a lot of people living in modern houses have got them stoves lifted up from the floor. And long time ago I observed that a lot of people started to grow belly fat.
So, stop blaming the food industry. Blame the designers.
I know insurance companies hate dishwashers and stoves. They should hate designers, but they love you. But they love us more. When we pay the bill for your useless design.
Believe it or not, four or five decades ago I designed a few things and the corners had a radius. Why? For what purpose? To be useful, even for designers. And it was protected.
It was protected so designers could not steal the idea behind the design, but not the rounded corners.
What did it bring to me? My name on some papers still hidden in a vault somewhere, and a lot of expences. This was long before innovation was rewarded, and crowd funding established.
If you find that vault you can use it for free, to build a fence without being on the other side. You can build a roof without being at the top, but maybe not a ceiling. When you build a wall you need to chose what side, or maybe both.
And if you build a floor you can walk, sleep or do whatever you do on a floor.
A mystery? Maybe, but not to me…
Good design comes from some inside, at least when designed by nature.
If it is better than nature’s own — or unique — you can protect the design.
Just as mine was rewarded with a protection.
I still wish someone could protect me from the corners on my dishwasher. And don’t even think about applying and go for all the fuzz to get your design protected. It is me and my legs who need that protection.
And unless I will find someone to recommend for an Award Winning Design Prize I might publish more reminders , until you have learned that some people have to live and work with your bad design.
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© d’Viggo 2020